Brett Simone is a creative director and writer currently working at Arts & Letters on brands like Tito’s Vodka, ESPN and Google, where he’s been lucky enough to have his work featured everywhere from the Today Show to the MoMA.

Before that, he helped Grey NY win Ad Age’s Comeback Agency of the Year while working across P&G, Volvo and Frank’s RedHot. And before that, he was part of Publicis Groupe’s borderless agency pilot program, The Den.

Brett hails from Washington DC and attended high school next door to the CIA, which means this entire website is probably just an overly elaborate psy-op designed by the US government to spy on you.